Becoming a Mother...

In celebration of mother's day, I have written down many things I have learned since becoming a mother. I have been a mother just shy of a year now, and there were so. many. things. that completely threw me for a loop when I became a mommy. For all you current mommies to relate to and for all you future mommies to know what to expect, here it is:

The many things I have learned since becoming a mother:

There is nothing more beautiful than holding YOUR own baby once he is born.

My body will never be the un-stretched-out version it used to be. I had no idea that my body wouldn't just revert back to normal after a couple weeks. THAT was HARD!

I will never sleep through the night, ever, ever, ever again. I heard this a lot, but I didn’t quite understand how it would affect me until it happened.

Being a mom is really, really, really, really, really , really….. hard. Even though this is one of the happiest experiences of my life, it is also the. single. most. hardest. adjustment I have ever made. I never comprehended the impact going from working full-time and having intellectual conversations every day to talking baby talk to someone you can’t communicate with would have. Let me tell you, the impact is huge.

I wish I lived closer to family so that I could go to them when I need help. Instead, I have found going to the women in my ward has helped so much, even though I hate being a burden. They are truly my family away from family.

A smile from my baby is the second most incredible thing in the world. The first? A laugh. Nothing beats the sound of a happy baby. I live by a motto that a happy baby equals a happy mommy.

My house will never be clean again. Because, when I clean it, Braden follows shortly after destroying it a little at a time.

Finding a balance between cuddling your baby all the time because you can and letting them be independent so that they can sleep well later on is one thing I did not get down with this baby. Maybe next time.

I wondered, “what will I do all day long when I stay at home full-time?” Now I wonder, “when will I ever HAVE time to do anything productive besides feeding, changing, taking to doctor appointments, playing on the floor, etc., etc., etc…” I am still trying to figure this all out.

My husband is the most patient person in the whole entire universe. And I love him for that. And he is an incredible daddy.

Nothing hurts more than watching your own child go through sickness, tests, surgery, etc. and not being able to help them or take away their pain. I haven’t seen Braden go through surgery yet, but I will next week, and the anticipation is killing me inside.

Nothing brings me more joy than being a mommy. Nothing brings more worry than being a mommy. Nothing brings more frustration than being a mommy. Nothing requires more patience than being a mommy. Nothing quite matches up to being a mommy.

My heart was healed of previous disappointment in attempting to become a mommy when my baby was laid naked on my chest.

Going through a completely natural labor and childbirth was the most amazing experience I have ever had. Never have I felt closer to God than when I brought one of His children to the earth.

I am pretty sure I could go on and on. Any maybe in the future I will add to this list. But, one thing is for sure. I am a completely different person than I used to be now that I have a child to call my own.

Happy mother’s day mommies and future mommies!

Where Have We Been?

Geographically? In Los Angeles. In the blogosphere world? Absent. Excuses? None.

We all know the real reason is because I didn't want to boot Brian's extremely thoughtful post out of the limelight. But, yet, life goes on and we must blog!

We have been up to a whole lot of nothing and everything all at the same time. I feel like the past few months have been fast forwarded with nothing but doctor appointments and grocery shopping in the blur of my memories. This is not complaining, it is simply what my life has been all about lately. Braden has had 3 ear infections since Christmas and we were in and out of doctors' offices getting antibiotics after antibiotics, then going to the ear, nose and thoat doctor, and an audiologist to come to this conclusion: our dear little Braden has to have ear tube surgery.

Also going on at the same time are eye appointments. The one with the retina specialist being especially exciting. Braden fell asleep in the middle of the appointment and the doctor was able to examine him while he slept! I was extremely impressed. The conclusion to this appointment: Braden's peripheral vision isn't the best, and his eyes don't dilate correctly in darkened rooms. This leads to the possibility of a rod (as in cones and rods) dysfunction. The only way to confirm is the blasted ERG test that Braden already tried to take, with no success. We left the appointment with intentions to do the ERG when Braden is older and can actually do it (instead of doing it under anesthesia).

Now back to the surgery. Since Braden is going under anesthesia for the surgery anyway, we are trying to coordinate the surgery with the ERG so that we can do both at once. Thank you doctors! Hopefully this will work out. I'll keep you posted.

Throughout this doctoral mess, we have enjoyed a fun visit from Braden's Nana (my mom), where she played with him on the swings, went with him to the beach, picnic'd with him, and snuggled with him and shared popcorn with him:

We have also enjoyed lots of sunshine. We went to the zoo:

We went swimming at the pool:

Braden is such a happy boy and we enjoy having him in our lives. He is such a blessing to us. He is very social and loves to play with anyone and everyone! He loves to share his pacifier (gross!) with us. He loves to walk along the furniture. He loves to bang on my keyboard while I try to type. He loves to help me sort and fold laundry (or rather unsort what I have sorted and unfold what I have folded). And, he LOVES his daddy, especially when he comes home in the evening. He REALLY LOVES it when his daddy chases him on hands and knees. I have to admit, I love that too....

22 Things I Love about Jen

Hello everyone, Jen usually posts on our blog, but I decided to do a post of my own, copying the Stratton's idea to write 22 things I love about my wife. Happy 22nd birthday!

1. I love that Jen laughs so easily. I especially love how every once in awhile she’ll snort a little when she’s laughing really hard.
2. I love that she talks to me everyday on the phone while I am at work and always tries to convince me to take a day off or come home early to spend time with her.
3. I love that she’s willing to listen to me tell her about what I did at work even if it involves describing a gory murder scene (I’m externing at the DA’s office doing murder cases). I think in general she probably listens to me too much because sometimes she’ll begin to take on my isms.
4. I love that she’s chosen to sacrifice a career, better social life, time, etc, for our son and future children by staying at home with them every day.
5. I love that she always insists on having a Friday night date when we can get out of the house and try a new or favorite restaurant. Braden especially loves getting out of the house and seeing new scenery and maybe trying a little bit of our dinner.
6. I love that she is very concerned with how healthy Braden is and is always reading, researching, and asking questions about his nystagmus.
7. I love that she chose to forgo any medications during her long labor and delivery of Braden because she wanted him to be the healthiest he could be.
8. I love that she is always concerned with how pretty she looks for me and always asks my opinion of outfits even though she knows I have zero fashion sense and can’t even wearing matching clothes myself.
9. I love that she is very concerned with our finances and is always looking for ways to save money. Right now, for example, Jen is clipping coupons and going to 5 or 6 different stores a week to nab fantastic deals on groceries.
10. I love how she always wants us to be closer to God and reminds me to do family home evening, family prayer, and scripture study when I forget.
11. I love that she loves my family and looks forward to talking to them every week on the phone and visiting them.
12. I love her beautiful thick hair that always looks good whether its straight, curly, short, or long, or even messy after she wakes up in the morning.
13. I love that she’s willing to listen to my crazy political ideas and discuss politics with me even when she’s sick of it.
14. I love how she loves surprises, but can’t stand waiting to find out what they are if she knows they are coming. Every year, Jen can’t stand to wait to find out what I’m getting her for her birthday/Christmas/anniversary, but at the same time she never wants me to tell her what I’m getting her because she loves surprises too much.
15. I love that she loves the outdoors and is always game to go on a hike, camp, or spend time at the beach.
16. I think it’s so cute that she’s deathly afraid of bees (always screaming and running whenever she sees anything small and flying), and sharks (always afraid that I’ll be eaten up when surfing and always afraid she’s going to encounter one while swimming at the beach).
17. I love her big round blue eyes.
18. She’s great at mothering me when I need it, like not letting me go outside when it’s cold and raining without a jacket even when I try and convince her that I can handle it because, “I’m from Seattle,” and not letting me kick corn off the cornstalks when we go to a corn maze.
19. I love that she loves spontaneity and dropping everything on a whim to go do something fun.
20. I love watching movies with her because even if she’s seen it before, she can’t ever remember what happens or how it ends, so it’s exciting every time.
21. I love the fantastic back massages she gives me when my back is hurting.
22. I love that she’s my wife. We’ve been married now for 2 ½ years and it’s been the best 2 ½ years of my life. I love you so much Jen, thank you for choosing to spend your life with me.

We Moved!

This post will not have accompanying pictures, as they would reveal what a mess our new apartment is right now! We moved last weekend from our teeny cramped one-bedroom apartment, to a two-bedroom just a couple buildings down. We had so much help on Saturday morning (thanks to all of you!), and then Brian and I spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning our old apartment. We left exhausted, and a little sad to be leaving the home we brought Braden home to.

But, we are loving having the extra space! Braden is getting used to having his own room to play, nap, and sleep in. I am dreaming about how to organize all of our stuff (we actually have less storage room, now, since we were blessed with a big garage before, and now have a really small one).